her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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