She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
