if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
