Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
