member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
