I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
