FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize