If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
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Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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