he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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