hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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