never play flip cup with pint glasses
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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