Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
