Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this just has baby written all over it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
