Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
