She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it was like eating out sand paper
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
