We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
