happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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