She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
