I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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