doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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