This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
