this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
