Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
