Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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