video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize