Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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