If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
