Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
