You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Michael Bay diarrhea
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
