So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
