i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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