Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
