Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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