I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize