I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
