i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
