im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
