She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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