The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
