Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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