Do you still have your period?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
