On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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