It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What a dumb baby whore.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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