he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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