think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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