She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
