I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
