a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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