He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
