I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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