was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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