he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize