what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
