Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
