I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize