so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize