I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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