i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
