guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
