after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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