Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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