It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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