Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
