Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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