My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
